


The call

by Idjit_01



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canon Compliant, Dean Winchester Needs Castiel, Dreams, Emotional Hurt, Fear, Gen, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-21
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:34:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26029525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Idjit_01/pseuds/Idjit_01
Summary: Castiel has barely gotten to heaven to discuss the God situation with whoever angels are remaining —every time he comes back there are less angels so he can't rely on the last time he came to know who's alive— when he feels a strong pull from Earth.He frowns. He frowns because there's only one person who can call him like that and he's so mad at him for blaming him for everything. Dean's always so displeased and he always takes it out on him and he can't take it anymore. That's why they parted ways a few weeks ago. He was saddened with grief of the loss, but Dean had been taking him for granted since longer then he could remember and since his mom died —again— he had treated Cas both as a ghost and a punching bag. He had said it —he was dead to him.OR the time after 15x03 where Dean subconsciously prays to Cas and Cas witnesses how he feels.
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 4
Kudos: 36





	The call

Castiel has barely gotten to heaven to discuss the God situation with whoever angels are remaining —every time he comes back there are less angels so he can't rely on the last time he came to know who's alive— when he feels a strong pull from Earth.

He frowns. He frowns because there's only one person who can call him like that and he's so mad at him for blaming him for everything. Dean's always so displeased and he always takes it out on him and he can't take it anymore. That's why they parted ways a few weeks ago. He was saddened with grief of the loss, but Dean had been taking him for granted since longer then he could remember and since his mom died —again— he had treated Cas both as a ghost and a punching bag. He had said it —he was dead to him.

Cas decides he's not going to answer. He's not going to come back to what —he's sorry to say— has turned into a mildly abusive relationship. But he can't help but worry at the brothers being in danger. He misses them. And even if Dean has done him wrong, it's not Sam's fault. And even if he's mad at Dean, he wouldn't want him to die. He cares about them too much. They just need some time apart.

So Cas decides maybe it won't hurt to take a look. He can deprive the brothers from sensing him, seeing him or hearing him in any way and just find out if they need his assistance.

He's lucky they aren't in the bunker. He knows the wards wouldn't allow him to get in without their express permission and he knows that though if they knew he was going they'd let him in, that wouldn't do for what he has planned. After all, he doesn't want him to know he'd there.

It takes him a bit longer than usual to find them, but he does. They've put wards up against most things, but luckily —or recklessly, he doesn't know— they haven't warded against angels in the motel they've been staying for what looks like at least a week. He feels a flicker of hope in his chest —maybe they did that because they were waiting for him, because they wanted him to come —they were calling for him after all—— but angels aren't much of a threat anymore, so maybe they didn't deemed it necessary.

When he walks into their room he's surprised to see Sam isn't there. He can sense he has been there but he can't find him. His stuff is all over the room though, so he can't be very far.

Dean, well, Dean is sleeping. There are a few bottles in the foot of his bed and he's fully clothed, as if he had fallen into a coma whilst drinking. There're pieces of a bottle with some liquid near the nightstand, so that's probably what happened. He must have thrown it off the bed in his sleep.

Dean's frowning and stirring in his sleep —the prayer, or call, however it should be called, must have been subconscious—. Cas waits there for a moment staring doubtfully.

He should leave —his assistance is definitely not required—. But even though Dean can be, pardon the language, a gigant jackass, he doesn't deserve nightmares or to keep suffering. He's just acting out because he's grieving, and, let's face it, John's education didn't do him any favors. But that doesn't mean he deserved to be forgiven as he keeps acting like a brat. 

Besides he can still hear him praying, looking for Cas, desperate. His soul is pulling on their bond relentlessly. He can't just leave. He can't just ignore Dean.

So Cas comes to his side and touches his forehead, preparing himself to leave Dean's private realm as quickly as he can, just reassuring him enough to calm his racing heartbeat. Also curious to why he's calling, but he's not going to admit that. 

He makes himself also invisible in his dreams, of course, but there he has less power. Their bond complicated it and there is no way Dean won't be able to pick up his presence.

At first he lands somewhere dark and quiet. It's constricting somehow, as if the atmospheric pressure had elevated thoroughly. He doesn't like it. It reminds him of the Empty.

Then he can hear Dean. He's pleading, shouting, crying.

" _Cas_ " he says, "please. No, _no_ , please, Cas." 

Cas can hear his thoughts. He hears what he wants to say, what he _needs_ to say, but he's still fighting. Dean's emotions are a turmoil. He's angry, hurt and sad, but, and he shouldn't be surprised, he's mostly scared and feeling guilty. He seems so... Vulnerable.

He has to go past a few realms in Dean's mind —past dreams— to get to where he's now. He sees himself dead — _Jimmy_ 's corpse more times than he can count. He sees Sam leaving, Sam demonly drinking, a few bad memories of his time with his dad and a lot of Dean being a demon, or under the influence of the Mark of Cain again, or trapped inside his body under Michael's command.

When he finally gets to Dean's current dream, he's more emotionally affected than he wants to admit. He doesn't let himself feel it, though, he's still kind of mad at Dean and this is supposed to be a quick cold mission. Nevertheless he feels himself soften. He knows Dean's still incredibly troubled by both his present and his past, but seeing it when his soul beams so brightly is heartbreaking.

In Dean's current dream, they're in Bobby's autoshop. There's music in the background —Kiss's _Rock and Roll all nite_ —, the sun's shining bright and Dean's on the hood of his Impala drinking and ice cold beer. He can hear faintly his family's voices in the distance —Mary, Sam, Bobby, John—. It all feels safe and comfortable. Cas's confused. Why would he pray for him when there's no danger in his dreams? 

He can hear Dean murmuring the lyrics to the song under his breath, but his voice sounds broken. He can feel pain everywhere —the closer he gets to Dean, the more intensely he can feel what he feels— and so much sadness. He doesn't get it. This is Dean's perfect setting, right? 

Now that he's closer, he can see that Dean isn't alone. Benny and Charlie are with him, playing some sort of cards game on the floor. But it's like there's an invisible wall between them. As if neither Dean nor his friends could really detect each other's presence. 

Cas decides to make himself known. He's not going to find out anything by just standing there. But when he's about to approach Dean, Benny and Charlie stand up suddenly. 

The music's stopped, the faint whispers of Dean's family disappeared. They're in a barn. He recognizes it, Dean tried to kill him here the first time they met.

Charlie asks him something Cas can't hear and Dean buries his face in Benny's chest. 

"I'm so sorry" he cries, "I miss him so much. Cas... I just... I can't... I miss him." He keeps whispering. "I'm so so so sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

Benny and Charlie disappear and Dean ends up curled up on the floor, crying and hiccuping devastated. Cas just wants to cry. 

He can feel Dean starting to wake up, though, and his mind trying to expell his intrusion. Cas lets it. 

When he finds himself in the motel room again Cas isn't angry anymore. He's just sad. And scared that Dean will break himself but too prideful to make amends in real life. Sam is there. He's cleaning the room from all the bottles and the floor from Dean's beer and sweat. If he hears Dean whimpering or if he notices Cas he doesn't say anything. 

Cas firmly grips Dean's arms and hovers over him, as if to kiss him, but ends up just caressing his face. Dean's eyelashes flutter and Cas panics. Yes, they can't see them but they can sense him. He also feels kinda guilty for invading Dean's dreams like that, for seeing him so vulnerable against his will. 

As he panics he finds himself in heaven again. He closes his eyes fiercely, as to hold everything he's just seen and felt in and goes on about his day. He has angels to speak to.

**Author's Note:**

> This just... came out of me.  
> I was sitting doing a puzzle when I couldn't stop thinking about this idea and I knew I had to write it down.
> 
> Thanks for reading. I hope you liked it, and as always, I appreciate feedback or whatever you wanna give me. 
> 
> Take care~


End file.
